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ltr450rider

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Posts posted by ltr450rider

  1. thanks for trying to help everybody, but i found her and she lives in vegas and i live in oregon so i dont think its going to work out lol

    Dont let that hold you back bro, get after that. True love like that only comes around every month or so. You should convince her to move to Reno, that way you guys are meeting half way. :thumb::drinkbeer:

  2. Here is a "Best Of" from Craigslist. Now I stress that this little article is not about 95% of the general public that walks into the bike shop. It's about the few people who really deserve a special place in society. Anyone who has ever worked in retail can see the comedy here. With that said, the guy who wrote is a pretty witty guy as well. Just dont take it personal is all I ask.

    A few things from the bike shop.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Date: 2009-05-27, 4:05PM PDT

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Whoo-hoo Seattle, the sun is out! Let's discuss a few things before you fumble with swapping the unused ski rack for the unused bike rack on the Subaru.

    So yes, you've noticed the sun is out, and hey!- maybe it would be cool to to some bike riding. Let's keep in mind that the sun came out of all 600,000 of us, so for the most part, you're not the only one who noticed. Please remember that when you walk into my shop on a bright, sunny Saturday morning. It will save you from looking like a complete tw*t that huffs "Why are there so many people here?"

    Are we all on the same page now about it being sunny outside? Have we all figured out that we're not the only clever people that feel sunny days are good for bike riding? Great. I want to kiss all of you on your forehead for sharing this moment with me. Put your vitamin D starved fingers in mine, and we'll move on together to some pointers that will make life easier.

    SOME POINTERS FOR THE PHONE:

    - I don't know what size of bike you need. The only thing that I can tell over the phone is that you sound fat. I don't care how tall you are. I don't care how long your inseam is. Don't complain to me that you don't want to come ALL THE WAY down to the bike shop to get fitted for a bike. I have two hundred bikes in my inventory. I will find one that fits you. Whether you come from the north or the south, my shop is downhill. Pretend you're going to smell a fart, ball up, and roll your fat a$$ down here.

    - Don't get high and call me. Write it down, call me later. When I have four phone lines ringing, and a herdlet

    of people waiting for help, I can't deal with you sitting there "uuuuhhh"-ing and "uuummm"-ing while your brain tries to put together some cheeto-xbox-fixie conundrum. We didn't get disconnected, I left you on hold to figure your sh*t out.

    -I really do need to see your bike to know what is wrong with it. You've already figured out that when you car makes a noise, the mechanic needs to see it. When your TV goes blank, a technician needs to see it. I can tell you, if there is one thing I've learned from you f*cking squirrels, it's that "doesn't shift right" means your bike could need a slight cable adjustment, or you might just need to stop backing into it with the Subaru. Bring it in, I'll let you know for sure.

    - No, I don't know how much a good bike costs. For some, spending $500 dollars is a kingly sum. For others, $500 won't buy you one good wheel. You really need to have an idea of what you want, because every one of you raccoons "doesn't want to spend too much".

    FOR YOU INVENTIVE TYPES AND DO-IT-YOURSELFERS:

    - Just because you think is should exist, doesn't mean that it does. I know that to you, a 14 inch quill stem makes perfect sense, but what makes more sense is buying a bike that fits you, not trying to make your mountain bike that was too small for you to begin with into a comfort bike.

    - If some tw*t on some message board somewhere says that you can use the lockring from your bottom bracket as a lockring for a fixie conversion doesn't mean that A: you can, or B: you should. Please listen to me on this stuff, I really do have your best interests at heart.

    - I love that you have the enthusiasm to build yourself a recumbent in the off season. That does not mean however, that I share your enthusiasm; ergo I won't do the "final tweaks" for you. You figure out why that Sram shifter and that Shimano rear derailleur don't work together. While we're at it, you recumbent people scare me a little. Don't bring that lumbering f*cking thing anywhere near me.

    A DEDICATION TO ALL THE HIPSTER DUCHEBAGS:

    This here really hits home here in Goleta!

    -If you shitheads had any money, you wouldn't NEED a vintage Poo-zhow to get laid. Go have an ironic mustache growing contest in front of American Apparel, so that I can continue selling $300 bikes to fatties, which is what keeps the lights on.

    - Being made in the 80's may make something cool, but that doesn't automatically make something good. The reason that no one has ridden that "vintage" Murray is because it's sh*t. It was sh*t in the 80's, a trend it carried proudly through the 90's, and rallied with into the '00's. What I mean to say is, no, I can't make it work better. It's still sh*t, even with more air in the tires.

    SO YOU'RE GONNA BUY A BIKE:

    Good for you! Biking is awesome. It's easy, it's fun, it's good for you. I want you to bike, I really do. To that end, I am here to help you.

    -Your co-worker that's "really into biking" knows fk all. Stop asking for his advice. He could care less about you having the right bike. He wants to validate his bike purchase(s) through you. He also wants to sleep with you, and wear matching bike shorts with you.

    - You're not a triathlete. You're not. If you were, you wouldn't be here, and we both know it.

    - You're not a racer. If you were, I'd know you already, and you wouldn't be here, and we both know it.

    - So you want a bike that you can ride to work, goes really fast, is good for that triathlon you're doing this summer (snicker), is good on trails and mud, and costs less than $300. Yeah. Listen, I want a car that can go 200 miles an hour, tow a boat, has room for five adults, is easy to parallel park but can carry plywood, gets 60mpg, and only costs $3,000. I also want a unicorn to blow me. What are we even talking about here? Oh yeah. Listen, bikes can be fast, light, cheap and comfortable. Pick two, and we're all good.

    ABOUT YOUR KIDS:

    Your kids are amazing. Sure are. No one else has kids as smart, able, funny or as good looking as you. Nope. Never see THAT around here.

    - I have no idea how long you kid will be able to use this bike. As it seems to me, your precious is a little retarded, and can't even use the damn thing now. More likely, your budding genius is going to leave the bike in the driveway where you will Subaru the bike to death LONG before the nose picker outgrows the bike.

    - Stop being so jumpy. I am not a molester. You people REALLY watch too much TV. When I hold the back of the bike while your kid is on it, it's not because I get a thrill from *almost* having my hand on kid butt, it's because kids are unpredictable, and generally take off whenever possible, usually not in the direction you think they might go. Listen, if I were going to do anything bad to your kids, I'd feed them to sharks, because sharks are f*cking AWESOME.

    I hope this helps, and have fun this summer riding your kick-a$$ bike!

    :beerpint::beerpint::beerpint:

  3. I left Dumont to head home to Pahrump. So I'm lumbering down the road at 55 in my 14+ ton rig going home Sunday morning. I'm behind 2 pickups pulling bumper pull toyhaulers. They're going faster then me so they're up ahead a ways as we come through the S curves before the Tecopa turn off. Then they both start to slow down as they enter 'the approach' to the turn off. This tells me they're going to turn off. Not the use of turn signals mind you, just slowing down. I hit both jakes and let off the gas in anticipation. We're almost on top of the turn off now and now here comes the point of no return question, do I grab nineth gear and get ready to slam on the binders or ride it out since I still don't see a turn signal? I decide to grab nineth. We're AT the turn and sure enough NOW the turn signals come on! The jakes rumble to life and all my brakes are grabbing as I slide up to their rear ends.

    There's still plenty of room mind you, for me to avoid hitting them as I slide past them. Plenty of room is about 15'. I've got a pretty beefy bumper and I'm sure I could have put that toyhaulers tailgate into the kitchen without much damage to myself.

    So, when do you use your turn signal?

    You should start thinking about it 20 seconds out, depending on your speed and what's behind you, of course. Certainly you should have it blinking 5 one second counts out from the turn.

    You never know when you have someone behind you that's 'on the edge'.

    Turnsignals are merely a myth, they dont exist. That is why nobody ever uses them.

    I drove a 35' crane around Hollywood and LA for 2 years, I feel your pain.

  4. Ive been going pretty hard on my quad riding the dirt trails getting used to the speed and all.Basically ive been doing this every weekend since about the middle of september I now feel a whole lot comfortable riding the quad now my mind is getting used to how fast im going which makes me more comfortable.Hopefully ill be able to go out by halloween this year its about the same time my sis returns from her 1 year tour of duty from the navy so who knows what will happen but I hope to see you all sooner rather than later! :drinkbeer:

    EDDIEEEEEEEEE! Havent seen you on in awhile. :drinkbeer:

  5. i always encourage people just to press new buttons to figure out what things do. You never know till you click on something what its for. Especially the new HOOKS feature. You can select forums which youw ant to "Watch" and it has its own little side bar just for those selected forums. Just little things like that :D

    I however DONT enoucourage those with delete capabilities to just press buttons lol.

    I can see that getting really out of hand in a bad way. Just sayin.

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