An open letter to the person(s) who stole my cds/DVDs.
On the evening of October 6th or 7th, some personal items had come up missing. Right as i get home from Dumont, i unload all of my toys and noticed that my CDs and DVDs were missing. I retraced my steps and tried to remember either loaning them, leaving them or even possibly donating them to a worthy cause.
Putting two and two together, I now know what happened, and am trying to put together an accurate mental picture of you, the person who took them.
I like my stuff, and I like keeping it whenever possible. That said, I understand some thefts. If you are, persay, addicted to something, and you steal something from me because you need to buy that something and stealing is the only way to make that happen, then I get that. I still wish you wouldn't do it, but I get it. Or if you need to feed yourself or your family or your dog and and you need to steal something to do it, then I get that, too. Those are crimes of necessity, however that necessity came about. But that's not the case here. Not even close.
As I'm sure you noticed when you got home/sobered up/looked more closely, the CDs/DVDs you stole was not a nice one. I got them one by one, and some burned ones as well that were given to me in one way or another. I especially liked my "Real Men of Genius CD". Nobody in their right mind would give you any money for them, and there are many more valuable things laying out in garbage cans or on the side of the road. You must have stole it to decorate them.
If you were casually walking around our camp at night (as I doubt you came in from out of town or state to pull this 'heist'), then chances are, you camped around here. Chances are equally good that you could very well afford to purchase your own CDs/DVDs instead of stealing mine. Or, maybe you're just trying it out for a bit, and I'll one day find it back in my trailer after you sadly discover that it just doesn't sound right in your beater pick up Kraco stereo system.
This is fair warning you to you, then, that I'm keeping my eyes open, and I know what they looks like. If I see it in your your truck, I'm taking it back. If i see it in your hauler through a window, you and I are going to have an unpleasant conversation (unlike car thieves or bank robbers, I'm not terribly intimidated by 'cCD/DVD thieves'). Or maybe I'll just take something of yours and use it at my place. Tit for tat.
"Theft With Intent To Decorate" is something so unnecesarry, so achingly annoying (and, let's face it, so Victorian Village) that I wish I could run into you someday, just so you could see the face I'd make at you. It's the look on your grandmother's face as you trip her on purpose. It's the look on your parents face when you tell them you were dropping out of college to focus on your "real spiritual development as a person". It's like a whole host of angels coming down and singing "What The fk?" all at once. I'm making the face right now, actually.
So Bravo!, thief of the night. You have my scratched CDs and DVDs. As you bask in it's glow, I hope you feel good about the kind of person you turned out to be.. And if I might suggest it, perhaps remember that I burned most of the CDs, and even a computer program that hosted a virus for just this type of occasion by me, a less than skilled computer guru. So from now on I'll be sitting out nights in my hauler, with my one remaining CD that was in my truck, hoping that it's partners are out there somewhere, infecting your computer, scratching your DVD player and not ejecting from your CD player and constantly replaying "Tiny Dancer" from Elton John untill your f*cking head explodes!
Sincerely yours,
OGP
Written by Cole but my feelings exactly
Thanks cole