White Rhino Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 ill resurect this for a bit. i remember when i was a young kid of about 10 or 11 years old, and I was living in Maryland with my mom and dad. and it was a cold april day, the first to be exact. and i looooovvvveee to play tricks, well my mom and i were on our way to go to town (it was about 30 miles away, we lived out in the country) and we were going to rent some movies...Beta's to be exact. and i had this bright idea to tell my mom that she had a spider on her back, knowing that she is deathly afraid of spiders...and I watch in amazement as my mother turned into a violent tornado of a contorionist, attempting to free herself of the "Spider" that has just invaded her space. As i lay on the floor paralized in laughter, she realizes that between the laughter and the snorts that iam trying to say april fools. well my mother not as amused as myself and my dad, my mom just looks at me and tells me...."Ill get you back you lil sh*t". Iam Thinking ...no wayyyyy youll get me back, ill be prepared. well on our way to town, our driveway is 1700 ft long, and it has a HUGE dip in it, it basicly goes about 300 feet straight and then it goes down like a roller coaster into the grand canyon, and then back up. so our 78 ford fairmont can attain speeds of up to 60 or 70 MPH with out even trying. Well we got to town got our ever so newly released Beta VHS tape, and on our way back. The big thing for a 11 yr old kid at that time was to haul arse down that hill and hit the negative G's, so on our way into our driveway, i look at mom and say...."GO MOM GO!!!", well she does...this has got to be the fastest we have ever gone, right before the plunge i look over and i see that the speedo says 60!!!! WOW MOM IS COOOOL!..(yeah right)...well the speed picks up even more as we hit the bottom of the hill, and on the way up my mother screams out "COLBY WE GOT NO BRAKES!!!!!"...as she is stomping the floorboard with her feet....(I was convinced) It didnt take a brain surgeon to realize that i have seen this in the movies, Iam not the captian of the ship, so iam not going down with it either! as those words exited my moms mouth, i had already un buckled my seat belt and opened the door! i was about to jump ship at 70 plus miles an hour!!!! the door was half way opened and i was preparing to bail, when i heard her laughing.....(iam thinking...this crazy b*tch thinks its funny that were gonna die!)..I suddenly feel her hand on the back of my Tuffskin jeans, and the car suddenly slow...(now iam thinking...Devine Intervention...cause God himself sees how crazy this lady is and dosent want her this soon) My mom got me back into the car, and it came to a stop, she is laughing so hard my dad comes running down the driveway to see what all the noise is about, my dad takes one look at my mother IN TEARS, snorting and laughing, and takes one good look at me......WHITE AS A GHOST! and starts laughing... Well i can tell you this much.......iam 34 now....and i was about 11 then...i have never played a april fools joke on my mother since...nor will I...(at least while she is still walking..ill wait till she is in the walker) Thats some funny sheooouuuutt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ringleader(FF5) Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 (edited) "FROG STOMP" A Circus Farkas Adventure The trip starts off in the normal way, Dani and I are at each others throats for no reason other than "were trying like hell to get out of here". Now, I have threatend that I am done "I ain't goin !!".....Wrong ! Dani says I am going and there is nothing I can do about it. Meanwhile I realize my propane line keeps blowing off ....after a trip to home depot, and wal mart I turn up empty handed for the fix...My buddy, Not a real smart guy, surprises me with an ingenious idea....How about a zip strip for that propane hose Wow...I am thinking "where the hell did that come from ?", sounds good Gary lets try it.....Hey it works, lets roll.. off to Bryce Canyon for the first time, this is going to be exciting... About an hour and a half into the drive I notice my right tire on the trailer is a little low, we pull into Mesquite thinking this should be easy, find an air station, fill er up, and back on track.....Nah! You would think air would be an easy thing to find....In all of the six gas stations we stopped at , 1 (one) was intact....guess which one....the last one....Alright let's go. We finally arrive, pitch dark, unload and crash...but my buddy is having a hard time finding his spot...after the many circles he made....he finds it, down the hill, and way, way far away from us....Sorry gary, your on your own ! Next day, wow the weather is nice were ready to ride, we ride all day, it was beautiful.....we head down to the general store to pick up some "Fixin's" to make s'mores for the kids.....50 bucks later we are out. We get back to camp and we run short of fire wood....Oh Sh*t! what do we do.....Dani steals a half burnt log from the neighbors fire pit is what we do ! After the Log burns out, I ask the circus if they want to go on a little walk.....okay, we start down the hill when I notice a movement in the brush....whats that ! I go to see.....its a salamander....check it out "T"....the boys were so excited...."T" run back to camp and get the bucket....I catch this thing and put him in the bucket....this is cool huh...this is where it begins.....There are hundreds of these things...everywhere....my bucket is loaded with at least 23 of them....the boys have just gone apesh*t. At this point I think "T" is about done with catching these guys.....we come up on a frog, I squat down and start pointing it out to the boys....look "T", Jay'd...look at this frog....and from outta nowhere...."STOMP", "T" has a feild day on this frog.....I scream (Mind you it's about 11:00 at night), Skylar shrieks with fear, Dani yells at "T" and Jaydin is in a state of shock.....what the h*ll "T" ! These aren't cochroaches....they are frogs...."T" says he just wanted to......oh my god ! I am going to let this one slide, lets move on. Up the trail a little, we find another salamander...Jaydin picks it up and puts it on the ground again.......WHAM ! I scream, Skylar shrieks with fear, Dani yells at "T" and Jaydin is once again shocked by the actions of "Little Satan Himself".....this time he didn't kill the damn thing...he mamed it, squooshing one whole side to the thing.....I am hoping these creatures have no nerves cause damn....that looks like it hurts.... Now Jaydin wants to help the mamed Salamander....alright kids back to camp !! Edited March 24, 2007 by Ringleader(FF5) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptorgirl Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Oh that was great. The joy of boys. I have three boys and my middle one (Josh) he is 10, isn't afraid of anything and totally digs any kind of creature,bug,insect,animal. In fact we call him Dr. Doolittle. A couple weeks ago he decides he wants to catch a wasp and stick it under the microscope and see what it looks like, so he does just that. But then when he was done looking he decides to rip the wask apart and chase his little brother (Taylor who is 6) who is deathly afraid of anything. So Josh is chasing Taylor around the yard with a wasp body in one hand and the wasp head in the other. Joys of boys!! By the way a dead wasp does look pretty cool under a microscope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Oh that was great. The joy of boys. I have three boys and my middle one (Josh) he is 10, isn't afraid of anything and totally digs any kind of creature,bug,insect,animal. In fact we call him Dr. Doolittle. A couple weeks ago he decides he wants to catch a wasp and stick it under the microscope and see what it looks like, so he does just that. But then when he was done looking he decides to rip the wask apart and chase his little brother (Taylor who is 6) who is deathly afraid of anything. So Josh is chasing Taylor around the yard with a wasp body in one hand and the wasp head in the other. Joys of boys!! By the way a dead wasp does look pretty cool under a microscope. I just got done reading it and that was the short story there were a few more headless frogs,As well as T wanted to bring them back in the trailer and was stuffing them in his pocket's."Gross"Skylar is the kid who saves every animal so she was just mortified. Your 10 year old sounds like Tristan he is insane,freaks the other 2 kids out all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAGDOLL MX Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 STOMP....lmao....that was me 25 years ago.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 (edited) STOMP....lmao....that was me 25 years ago.... So is there any hope for Tristan? Still can't figure him out He makes us laugh and he stresses us out.Everyone who meet's him just love's him.He is a funny kid but he sure can make us :dance: Edited March 24, 2007 by Dani Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I happened to be going down N. LVB the other day in my tractor trailer. I ACCIDENTLY grabbed my airhorn when I drove by a bus stop full of . Those M.F.er's jumped out of their skin. I almost pi$$ed myself laughing!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vegashd Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 STOMP....lmao....that was me 25 years ago.... anyone that knows Cole knows he can make you feel like you were there with every story he tells..... You guys had better wish he starts telling some our stories!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAGDOLL MX Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 anyone that knows Cole knows he can make you feel like you were there with every story he tells..... You guys had better wish he starts telling some our stories!!!! easy trigger, some of those can be rather incriminating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAGDOLL MX Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 I happened to be going down N. LVB the other day in my tractor trailer. I ACCIDENTLY grabbed my airhorn when I drove by a bus stop full of :dance: . Those M.F.er's jumped out of their skin. I almost pi$$ed myself laughing!!! :argue: i cant wait to get mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Hi my name is dan and i just moved back to vegas.. Looking for some hot transvestite to show me around town and show me a good time!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptorgirl Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Oh my that was funny, and cruel! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bp-guy Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 ok here is mine at it was at my expense but it was pretty funny after it happened!!! I was at the local wienerschnitzel near my house grabbing some lunch. (some already know where this is heading). I leave the drive thru and hit the signal at the corner. The large cup they give is too big to fit in the cup holder so I have it between my legs. I get out one of the corn dogs and take a bite. I then want some mustard for it so I look for the packet in the bag. Without realizing I stuck the dog back in my mouth as I look for the mustard. I hear from the car next to me a man say "OH MY" I look up and see a gay gentleman and his "partner" in the car next to me as I sit alone in my car,well me and my DOG in my mouth with no sight of a hand near it! Must have been a pretty good visual for them. That was the LONGEST red light ever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EY3BA11 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 ok here is mine at it was at my expense but it was pretty funny after it happened!!! I was at the local wienerschnitzel near my house grabbing some lunch. (some already know where this is heading). I leave the drive thru and hit the signal at the corner. The large cup they give is too big to fit in the cup holder so I have it between my legs. I get out one of the corn dogs and take a bite. I then want some mustard for it so I look for the packet in the bag. Without realizing I stuck the dog back in my mouth as I look for the mustard. I hear from the car next to me a man say "OH MY" I look up and see a gay gentleman and his "partner" in the car next to me as I sit alone in my car,well me and my DOG in my mouth with no sight of a hand near it! Must have been a pretty good visual for them. That was the LONGEST red light ever! Plus Equals Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bp-guy Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 (edited) DAMN, U had to go there! My wings are much better! Not to mention the CRACK Edited March 26, 2007 by bpguy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EY3BA11 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 :worthless_without_pics: Its all in good humor lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bp-guy Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 no harm done, I know its a joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dunefreak Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 ok here is mine at it was at my expense but it was pretty funny after it happened!!! I was at the local wienerschnitzel near my house grabbing some lunch. (some already know where this is heading). I leave the drive thru and hit the signal at the corner. The large cup they give is too big to fit in the cup holder so I have it between my legs. I get out one of the corn dogs and take a bite. I then want some mustard for it so I look for the packet in the bag. Without realizing I stuck the dog back in my mouth as I look for the mustard. I hear from the car next to me a man say "OH MY" I look up and see a gay gentleman and his "partner" in the car next to me as I sit alone in my car,well me and my DOG in my mouth with no sight of a hand near it! Must have been a pretty good visual for them. That was the LONGEST red light ever! DAYUM...that sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DUNE SMURF Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 (edited) I happened to be going down N. LVB the other day in my tractor trailer. I ACCIDENTLY grabbed my airhorn when I drove by a bus stop full of . Those M.F.er's jumped out of their skin. I almost pi$$ed myself laughing!!! accidently:slap: i don't think so :ahhhhh: :angry2: Edited March 27, 2007 by DUNE SMURF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offroadracer Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 ok here is mine at it was at my expense but it was pretty funny after it happened!!! I was at the local wienerschnitzel near my house grabbing some lunch. (some already know where this is heading). I leave the drive thru and hit the signal at the corner. The large cup they give is too big to fit in the cup holder so I have it between my legs. I get out one of the corn dogs and take a bite. I then want some mustard for it so I look for the packet in the bag. Without realizing I stuck the dog back in my mouth as I look for the mustard. I hear from the car next to me a man say "OH MY" I look up and see a gay gentleman and his "partner" in the car next to me as I sit alone in my car,well me and my DOG in my mouth with no sight of a hand near it! Must have been a pretty good visual for them. That was the LONGEST red light ever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offroadracer Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 I happened to be going down N. LVB the other day in my tractor trailer. I ACCIDENTLY grabbed my airhorn when I drove by a bus stop full of . Those M.F.er's jumped out of their skin. I almost pi$$ed myself laughing!!! Thats funny :ahhhhh: :angry2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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