mineurbiz Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their a$$ to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their a$$es! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? Â 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? Quote
Sincity_blondie Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 9 Things I Hate About Everyone 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their a$$ to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their a$$es! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? Â 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? Those were great!!! Quote
Richard Cheese Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 you forgot the family members who use all the toilet paper, and don't replenish it Quote
dunefreak Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 Those were great!!! good thing you quoted him, Stacey. I wouldn't have had any idea what you were laughing at! come onnn! oh and those were good, Mark. Quote
Sincity_blondie Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 good thing you quoted him, Stacey. I wouldn't have had any idea what you were laughing at! come onnn! oh and those were good, Mark. Quote
mineurbiz Posted June 25, 2007 Author Posted June 25, 2007 I love jokes that revolve around actual things people do. Gallagher the comedian use to have a bunch of jokes like that like: Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway Quote
RAGDOLL MX Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 if nothing sticks to teflon...then how does teflon stick to the pan? Quote
Richard Cheese Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 If my Aunt had balls she'd be my uncle???? your uncle is pretty cute is his name tranny??? Quote
duniemonkie Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 If it's a TV set why do you only get one? Quote
MAXDOUT Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 (edited) how about....when people say"to be honest with you" then complete their sentence. what where you lying before, or what??? Edited June 25, 2007 by maxdout Quote
duniemonkie Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 If you say "I could care less", you are saying you do care at least a little bit! The saying is " I COULDN'T care less", come on!!! Quote
RAGDOLL MX Posted June 25, 2007 Posted June 25, 2007 (edited) why do psychics ask for your name? if someone with multiple personalties threatens to kill themselves...is it considered a hostage situation? why do coffins have a lifetime guarentee?...and who is going to complain if it isnt working? who was the first person to look at a cow and go "Hmm maybe ill squeeze these dangly little things and drink what comes out" why is it illegal to park in a handicap place, but it is ok to use a handicap toilet? if FED EX and UPS were to merge would it be called FED UP? most people have a photographic memory....but most of them have no film Edited June 25, 2007 by RAGDOLL MX Quote
redswr Posted June 26, 2007 Posted June 26, 2007 why are astroids in the hemisphere and hemroids in your a$$ Quote
mineurbiz Posted June 26, 2007 Author Posted June 26, 2007 Why do they call them apartments when they are so close together? Quote
mineurbiz Posted June 26, 2007 Author Posted June 26, 2007 Correct me if I am wrong but these seem right up Coles alley http://my.opera.com/Armand0/blog/index.dml/tag/jokes Quote
BudlightBob Posted June 26, 2007 Posted June 26, 2007 Kinda reminds me of Bill Engvals here's your sign stuff. Out washing my truck and this guy that hangs out here occasionally comes over and asks (and I am not kidding here) So you washing your truck?? I couldn't help myself I said Nope just watering and thinking it might get as big as the Dodge! Quote
Don29palms Posted June 26, 2007 Posted June 26, 2007 There's only one thing I hate about people and that's EVERYTHING! Quote
BudlightBob Posted June 26, 2007 Posted June 26, 2007 There's only one thing I hate about people and that's EVERYTHING! Quote
dunefreak Posted June 26, 2007 Posted June 26, 2007 There's only one thing I hate about people and that's EVERYTHING! That's Don for ya! That pretty much describes him in a nutshell. Quote
sand chick Posted June 26, 2007 Posted June 26, 2007 I don't like it when your sick and someone ALWAYS has to say man you look like crap. Ya think?? I am sick............What did ya think I should look like?? Quote
Ringleader(FF5) Posted June 26, 2007 Posted June 26, 2007 Speaking of new and improved.....I was at Subway, ordering sandwiches for the family for our long a$$ journey back from Utah, when I noticed in the window....an advertisement of an apple....an apple sliced up, with the word NEW across the top.....so I am thinking, , WTF is so new about an apple.....I get it now, Skylar wanted them of coarse.....the apple is NEW because the price is now $1.79 !!!!! What they meant was, "WE CUT IT & PACKAGED IT" heres the new F..ING price. Quote
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