RAGDOLL MX Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. Quote
RAGDOLL MX Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 you should be afraid.....be very afraid Quote
lvnalolife Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Cole you aint right. One to many crashes on the dirtbike huh? Quote
Vegas FX400 Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Cole, lay off the .....but that is some funny shiat Quote
desertskyz Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 I throw all of the "M's" away and feel very strong that they are all inferior. Therefore the only ones left that are fit for consumption are the "W's" Quote
EY3BA11 Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 and i thought desertskyz was a few cans short of a 6 pack... Quote
OGP Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 hey cole where did you see or read this? I saw this either online or in a magazine before. I cant remember where. Quote
SandBox_Kid Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 That's funny! Darwin's theory of evolution applied to our "modern candy and snack food world." It must be time to retire....... Quote
RAGDOLL MX Posted October 15, 2007 Author Posted October 15, 2007 best of craigs list funny shiat what he said...i couldnt stop laughing Quote
1BADYFZ Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Mann and i thought that bag lady talking to herself was wierd............ Quote
DuneJNKY Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 WOW Cole ?????? They should sell little you's that you can put in a backpack and bring out at parties :dance: . Where do you get this stuff??? Quote
RAGDOLL MX Posted October 16, 2007 Author Posted October 16, 2007 whats bad is ash found the video Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.